Five years. In the grand scheme of life, it doesn't sound like very many years, and in the grand scheme of life it really isn't very many years.
And yet, in that span of time, so much happened and didn't happen in my life.
Five years ago, I was an aspiring romance author.
Five years ago, I was an aspiring mother.
Five years ago, I found success in my 2nd IVF cycle and gave birth...to a beautiful baby boy with Down syndrome.
Five years ago, I was unable to return to work, instead learning, sometimes struggling to care for a child with a disability.
As those days slipped by, I began to navigate through a new, uncertain world. Through all the fears and uncertainty, I found a kind of healing in the written word. I began to craft a world of imperfect heroes and heroines because I could identify with those imperfect people...because I was, and am in no way, perfect. My son, he taught me the beauty of imperfection. Life is not always perfect, it's often hard, but it has enriched my life in ways that I could never have imagined.
My Nana Lil, she always used to say to me, 'your world is going to open up for you someday', but at the time, I carried so much bitterness that her words seemed like an impossibility. For me, I saw in my life, the things I couldn't do. I couldn't get pregnant without medical assistance. I also saw the things I wasn't able to do. My books were being rejected by editors and agents because it was "risky"; 'people didn't want to read about 'imperfect' heroes and heroines.
Over the years, I followed Lady Scribes. And then, I was invited to be part of the Lady Scribes.
So much of my life played out on those blog posts. I underwent eight more IVF cycles. I had several, heartbreaking pregnancy losses.
I celebrated my son. I worried for my son.
I despaired of ever being a mother to more children. And then I was pregnant with my twins.
When at 20 weeks 5 days I was placed on bedrest due to preterm labor complications, it was just one more thing I could not control in my life.
What I could control, however, was what I wrote. And how much I wrote. For the 18 weeks I spent on bedrest, I wrote 3 books, 1 novella, and I decided to publish them.
It's funny how very much can change in five years. I'm now a mother to three, beautiful children. I've been on Amazon's bestseller Regency and Historical Romance lists. I have my third full-length novel coming out in a few weeks.
So I don't want to say good-bye today, because I don't believe this is good-bye. I hope to keep in touch with everyone on Facebook and Twitter, and every other social media outlet out there!
Instead, I wanted to say thank you. Thank you for your kind words during some tremendously heartbreaking times in my life. Thank you for your prayers. Thank you for your encouragement. Thank you for reading.
Hugs and Love,
The Countess of Courage